


Change

by dbw



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-20
Updated: 2009-11-20
Packaged: 2017-10-03 10:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dbw/pseuds/dbw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This takes place just after the episode <i>The Sentinel by Blair Sandburg</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Change

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted November 2005

Jim paid the cabbie and watched as the taxi pulled away from the curb. The party had lasted a bit longer than he'd wished, finally breaking up when Naomi exclaimed that she had to leave or miss her flight. Jim had looked around for Sandburg, only to realize that he'd already left. His gaze had met Naomi's and that was the moment when he'd known something was off; Naomi looked just as surprised as he felt. So he'd made his excuses and left, hailing a cab to take him back to Prospect Avenue.

He glanced up at his balcony, extending his hearing in hopes that Sandburg was inside, but the only sound in the loft was the irritatingly slow drip of the bathroom faucet. Jim made a mental note to fix it as soon as he had the chance. Sandburg's car was in its normal parking slot, so where was he?

It hardly took sentinel sight to spy the familiar figure out on the end of the pier. With a soft sigh, Jim gripped his cane and ignored the pain in his leg as he made his slow trek out to join his friend. He quietly mirrored Sandburg's pose against the rail, leaning on his elbows and letting his hands clasp together naturally as they dangled over the water.

They stood there silently for awhile, watching the restless waves. When Sandburg finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "I've been thinking recently," he said thoughtfully, "about how inevitable change is. And how we all seem to fear it, even when we know it's really a good thing, because without change we'd stagnate."

Jim nodded encouragingly, though his heart had just plummeted to his stomach.

"I mean, look at you and me," Sandburg continued. "When I think of how much we've both changed since we met, well, it's pretty amazing. I look back at the dork I was then and I don't even recognize myself. I can't imagine wanting to know that guy, let alone that I ever was him."

"I don't know, Chief," Jim said softly. "He seemed like a pretty stand up guy to me."

A corner of Sandburg's mouth quirked into a wry smile. "He was okay, I guess. I just wouldn't want to go back, you know?"

"Yeah. I know." Jim idly extended his sight to watch a small freighter in the middle of the bay as it sailed through a patch of mist.

"Change is hard enough when you're actively trying to make it happen." Sandburg's voice took on an edge of earnestness. "When it gets thrust upon you, like with the shit we just went through, well, you got to step back and decide whether or not you're going to go where it takes you."

Jim's mouth tightened. He tried to keep his voice neutral as he asked, "And what've you decided?"

"This badge thing." Sandburg swallowed hard. "I really appreciate what Simon went through to make it happen. But Jim, you know it won't work."

"There are a few people in Major Crime that say it can, Chief." Jim turned to face Sandburg, leaning against the rail and taking the weight off his bad leg. "The question is, do you want it? I won't lie to you. It'll be hard going with the rest of the department, but we'll make it work if it's what you want."

"I don't want to lose you, Jim."

Jim blinked at the naked emotion he saw in Sandburg's gaze. "You don't have to take the badge to keep me." He smiled slightly. "Not all change is bad, Darwin."

"I know that. But we can't just go on like we have been." Sandburg shook his head. "For one thing, I'm out of a job--hell, a career. Becoming a detective may be the only option I have."

"If that's the only reason you want the badge, then don't take it." Jim gripped Sandburg's shoulder. "We'll figure something else out for you to do."

"I don't want to disappoint you again."

Jim sighed and tugged until Sandburg stopped resisting and came into his arms. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Sandburg's voice was muffled against Jim's throat.

"Everything."

"Not your fault." There was a slight pause and then, "I'm sorry, too."

"Guess we're both just a couple of sorry guys, huh?" The heat of Sandburg's huff of air against the hollow of his throat made Jim smile. "Not that I'm not enjoying this, but what do you say we take the rest of this conversation back to the loft?"

Sandburg pulled back just enough to be able to gaze up into Jim's eyes. "Are we going to be okay, Jim?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I think we are, Chief."

"Even if I don't accept the change and take the badge?"

"That's just a detail. This is the change that you need to decide about." And with that he closed his eyes and softly brushed his lips over Sandburg's, feeling the satisfaction of having finally done the one thing he'd never let himself acknowledge that he wanted to do.

"Oh." Jim smiled slowly as Sandburg's eyes widened. "_Oh._ Yeah. We should definitely take this back to the loft."

"So, this is a good change, then?" Jim couldn't resist asking.

Sandburg grinned, his eyes sparkling. "The best, man. The very best."


End file.
